“These aren’t just lights, are they?” I asked as he unpacked sleek black dome cameras. “Oh, they’re lights,” Mike said holding up a fixture that looked like a modern lantern. “Motion-activated, solar-powered. Very eco-friendly. But—” He flipped it over, revealing a tiny lens embedded in the base. “They also happen to record in 4K resolution with audio, night vision, and cloud backup. I use them on job sites to catch people stealing copper wire.” “Is this legal?” “Recording your own property? Absolutely. If the camera accidentally captures the sidewalk and the street because of the wide-angle lens, well, that’s just technology being helpful.” We spent the morning installing them. One on the corner of the pergola facing the driveway. One by the front door, and one strategically placed right in the center of the privacy screen peaking through a gap in the slats. That one had a direct line of sight to the edge of my lawn where Brenda liked to stand and scream. “She’s going to hate these,” I said handing Mike a screwdriver. “She won’t know they’re cameras,” Mike said. “They look like fancy sconces. By the time she figures it out, we’ll have everything we need.” By noon, we were done. The trap was set. Now we just needed the bait.
“We need to test the system,” Mike said wiping sweat from his forehead. “And we need to see if the privacy screen works. I say we have a little party.” “A party?” I hesitated. “I don’t want to get hit with a noise violation.” “Not a loud party,” Mike corrected. “A visual party. We sit on the porch. We drink iced tea. We laugh. We point at things. We make it look like we’re having the time of our lives. If she can’t see what we’re doing, but she can hear us having fun, it’ll drive her insane.” “Psychological warfare,” I said. “I like it.” I went inside and made a pitcher of iced tea. I put it on a tray with two glasses. I even cut up some lemon wedges to make it look fancy.
We sat on the new deck. Hidden behind the slats. From the street, we were just shadows and voices. “So,” Mike said leaning back in the new patio furniture I had assembled. “You talked to the PI?” “Yeah, he’s on it. He thinks you’re right about the skeletons.” “Good.” Mike took a sip of tea. “This is good tea, by the way.” “Thanks. It’s Earl Grey.” “Fancy.” We sat there for 10 minutes. Just chatting about baseball and the cost of lumber. Then, inevitably the curtain twitched across the street. “Target acquired,” Mike murmured not moving his lips. “She’s at the window.” “I see her,” I said. Through the slats I could see the blinds separate. “Laugh,” Mike whispered. “Laugh like I just told you the funniest joke in the world.” I threw my head back and laughed. “Haha, oh Mike, that’s hilarious.”
